Packed, Ready, and Redirected

We had packed water bottles, sunscreen, bug spray, a change of clothes and enough snacks to feed a small army. The kids were dressed and ready, hats and sunglasses on, spirits high. Our plan: a simple family hike at a local state park. Some fresh air, a little space to roam, time together, just the five of us. I had double-checked the weather and scoured the park’s social media accounts to make sure it wasn’t full yet. We had the all-clear.

What we didn’t plan for? The park failing to communicate that it had already reached capacity and being turned away at the gate.

As we unceremoniously exited the park, we sat in the car and stared at each other—three kids buzzing with anticipation in the backseat (and asking a lot of questions, I might add), and two grownups in the front recalibrating on the fly. Where else could we go that would still feel like an adventure and somewhere new to explore?

With a quick pivot, we found another spot to check out. The trail was just long enough, with cool pit stops along the way. It wasn’t what I had planned but it turned out to be an equally good day.

That tiny and seemingly inconsequential disruption made me think: pivots—even small ones—can rattle us.

Lately, I’ve been noticing just how many people in my orbit are in the middle of one kind of pivot or another. Career changes. Kids graduating. Major moves. Identity shifts. Redefining what’s next. Some are chosen; some are not. All of them are stretching people in quiet, invisible ways.

The truth is, pivoting isn’t always graceful. Sometimes it’s messy and uncomfortable. Sometimes it’s full of energy and possibility. Often, it’s both.

As a coach, I sit with a lot of people at their pivot points. And frankly, I’m no stranger to them myself. While I don’t have a perfect formula for making them easier, I do have a few questions and tools that can help make them more meaningful.

Three Questions to Ground You in a Pivot

1. What’s actually changing?
Naming what is truly shifting (versus what it feels like) can help keep the moment in perspective. Is it your role? Your routine? Your sense of identity or purpose? Get specific.

2. What do I want to carry forward?
Not everything needs to go. In every pivot, there are threads worth preserving. What values, strengths, relationships, or ways of being do you want to bring with you?

3. Who do I want to be in this?
This is my favorite. It shifts the focus from control (which we often lose in a pivot) to intention (which we always have access to). A fellow coach once asked me, “If you were starring in a movie about your life, how would you want the main character to show up in this moment?”
Asking yourself who you want to be helps you visualize how you want to navigate the change.

A Tool to Try: Pause. Name. Choose.

When you find yourself in an unexpected moment—big or small—try this:

• Pause: Take a breath. Literally. Even a few minutes of box breathing can help reset your nervous system.
• Name: Acknowledge what’s happening and what you’re feeling (disappointed, frustrated, relieved, confused…).
• Choose: Decide your next move with intention instead of reaction. Even saying out loud, “I’m reacting like this, but I want to be showing up like that instead” can help shift your mindset in real time.

Lather, rinse, repeat. This framework doesn’t fix everything. But it does helps you stay in the driver’s seat, even when the road has taken a sharp turn.

Remember…

Flexibility is a muscle, not a mindset. It takes practice…and a good deal of self-compassion.

Lately, I’ve been sitting with some of my own quiet questions about what’s next and how I want to meet what’s unfolding.

If you’re in the midst of a pivot—big or small—I hope you’ll give yourself permission to pause, to name what matters and to choose with intention.

There’s strength in that kind of clarity. Even when the road ahead isn’t fully mapped out.